Has it really been that long? Can it be that my wife and I have been married for 11 years? It seems like only yesterday I was proposing to her in our tiny 1 room basement apartment in Toronto. I can still hear the clicking of high heels and the stomping of little feet on the ceiling above us. We had a Jewish Orthodox family (complete with a Rabbi) living upstairs.
Two kids fell in love one sunny afternoon
I had been planning the proposal for a while. I had gone ring shopping after classes when possible. I was still attending University at the time and was living off of a starving student's budget. This meant working ridiculous hours at a Second Cup coffee shop, drinking limitless cups of the stuff and scarfing down day old baked goods that were destined for the trash, just so I didn't have to buy groceries. Every dollar went towards the ring. Eventually I settled on Birks. The ring was perfect. The sales person was awesome and I was approved for financing. Yep. I was growing up.
Sometimes we get a little weird
I was not uber-creative with my proposal. I didn't have a choir sing to her nor did I have a plane sky write my undying affection for her either. I was a traditionalist. So I stuck with a traditional method. Leaving my classes for the day, I stopped at a small florist on Bloor Street and purchased two dozen long stem red roses. I then hopped on the TTC (subway for all the non-Torontonians out there) and took the longest ride of my life. 45 minutes of heart pounding, palm sweating, stomach churning terror. "What if she says No? Holy Shit! What if she says no? I can't take the ring back can I? What'll I tell that nice sales guy? What'll I tell my friends that I've been bragging to? What'll I do with all these flowers? Give 'em to the homeless guy on the way home?" I kinda didn't have a plan 'B'.Crap. I'm sure people riding the subway thought I was clearly nuts. I mean, here's this dude riding by himself; flowers in hand, talking passionately to himself (rocking back and forth) and occasionally looking around wildly for someone...anyone to offer some advice. Mind you, that's not that uncommon to see in a city like Toronto. Hooray for mental illness?
I got off the bus and walked the remaining few blocks to our tiny closet apartment and just stood staring at the door. I knew she was in there. All I needed to do was turn the handle. But my hands wouldn't move. I just stood there....breathing. The window was open in the basement and the soft light was glowing from inside. I could smell dinner cooking and hear the radio playing quietly as she sung along. I thought to myself "This is where I want to be. Right here...with her." I turned the handle and walked in to her warm smile.
She asked me what the flowers were for. I rambled off some inconsequential line or two hoping that my shaking hands didn't give away my intentions. I told her to look how gorgeous the bunch was (having hidden the ring box inside the bushel). I remember her opening the paper packaging to look inside and her eyes becoming wild with alarm. "What is that?" she asked. "What...is....that?"
I got down on one knee and looked up into her smiling/crying eyes and asked her to be my wife.
Has it really been that long? We have had tremendous challenges and tremendous successes in our 11 years of marriage. We have been blessed with 2 beautiful, if not fiercely independent children, a strong sense of family and a grounded outlook on life and love. I am a better man today then I was 11 years ago because I have a wonderful woman in my life. I'm so very lucky to have her as my wife.....and she likes to remind me of that fact every time she gets the chance!
I nick named my blog post "The Can-eh-dian Kid" to be tongue in cheek; an homage to my heritage. To reference the world-renowned dialect that makes us the country of envy and the country of ridicule. How do you spell Canada with only 3 letters? C, eh? N, eh? D, eh? I wanted this blog to showcase where I've come from, where I am currently and where I hope to spend the rest of my natural life.
Too much coffee makes you see things
Last night, I re-watched a movie that really struck a nerve in me the first time I saw it. It's called One Week with Joshua Jackson. I first saw this movie back in 2009 when I was on an Air Canada flight from Toronto to L.A. I was going 'home' after going Home. It had been my first trip back to Canada in just over a year and I was beyond homesick. Not specifically for my family (Mom, Dad, Sis) although it was awesome to see them, but for the Country itself. That first sip of Tim Horton's coffee was like liquid crack. The green open space of North Toronto (I know that may seem hard to believe; Toronto...open green space) was such a welcome change from the Urban Concrete Jungle I was flying back into.
Anyways, the film talks about a guy who is diagnosed with Stage 4 terminal cancer. He's given a 10% chance to live, but only if he starts radical treatment immediately. Opting for the more 'rational option', he buys a Motorcycle and travels cross-country with no real rhyme or reason. Just a goal to get to the coast. The defining moment? Rolling up the rim on a Tim Horton's Cup and getting the following message (watch the clip):
Throughout the trip, he stops at iconic locations that help makes this Country the quirky, beautiful land that it is. The Big Nickel, The World's Biggest Dinosaur, The World's Largest Smoking Pipe, the Gardiner Expressway (this last one I would push in front of a moving bus if it were a person, I hate it that much). But the use of these interesting yet often tacky landmarks was a great way of showcasing some of the more unique things that make up this great land.
Needless to say, the first time I watched the film, I had a hard time not blubbering a little.
The Can-eh-dian Kid, far from home, headed west to face his destiny. Cliched, I know. But it rang true at the time. And no, I don't have Stage 4 Terminal Cancer, but thanks for asking.
You see, I think that so many of us take this place for granted. We bitch about taxes, gas prices, food costs, the Government, Immigration laws, the Stanley Cup, Winter, Summer, Construction. But deep down, we live in one of the greatest Countries on this planet. Trust me. I know. I've lived outside of Canada and travelled fairly extensively to less fortunate places. I think that we sometimes forget how cool it is to truly be part of a great Nation. Despite our flaws (AND EVERY COUNTRY HAS THEM), we should count our lucky stars.
So, besides plugging a movie and hoping to get some middleman fees for doing so, I really wanted to get people to open their eyes and soak in the culture. To breath deep the air that makes this environment so pristine. To smile a little wider today when you step outside and think, I live in a free country that so many other people would die (and have died trying) to get into.
Be proud of your heritage. Don't wait until you're thousands of miles away before you truly appreciate what's right in your back yard. 'To strive, to seek, to find and not yield.'-Ulysses
