I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I HATE vegetables. P.S. I'm not a vegetarian.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm destined to remain portly.  How do I know this?  Well, while watching t.v. tonight I found myself getting progressively hungrier.  This is due to a combination of factors:

1. I like food....a lot
2. I have started eating a lot more vegetables at work as a method to cut back on my snacks
3. Food is advertised at all hours on every channel.
1. Sub-Note:  I could control item number 3 if I just stayed away from the Food Network.  I'm like a junkie always coming back for another fix.  Diners, Drivers and Dives....EVIL.  Especially when watching at 11 pm.

My main concern/issue/1st world problem is with Vegetables.  Those wonderful little things that come from the good green garden and farmer's fields and eventually onto our dinner plates.  Steam them, boil them, serve 'em raw.  I don't care.  I hate them.  They "insist" upon themselves.  "Oooohhh....I'm so good for you fatty."  "If you want to be healthy, you have to eat me."  Bite me veggies.  Just bite me.

  If they were covered in chocolate or tasted like bacon, I might have less of a problem eating them.  Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the taste of most of them  (I'm eyeballing you asparagus.  Mr. "I make your pee smell funny.") but this food group has always been an afterthought for me rather than a main course.  In other words, I don't go out my way to eat them.

I shouldn't complain.  My wife is an amazing cook and can make even P.S.O.T. (Pig Sh*t on Toast) taste like a porterhouse steak.  She has a magic to her cooking so even veggies take on a certain culinary charm.  But now that I'm consciously trying to watch what I eat, vegetables have become a chore.

I suppose that it's inevitable.  As long as my stomach is the first thing to enter a room, I will need to take strides to cull my gastronomical longings.  So for now I must remind myself to put down the cupcake and pick up the carrot *shudders**