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Thursday, August 4, 2011

Good wholesome family t.v.

So Shark Week is back on!  Yeaaahhhh!!!  A whole week of Good wholesome family t.v. Right?  Right?  Well, define "wholesome"?  Why is it that it's acceptable to show the bloody gaping wounds  of shark attack victims?  I mean, I know it's educational.  And the the "bleh" factor certainly brings the ratings in.  But a gratuitous close-up of a bloody stump that used to be some surfer's limb is just a little over the top.

Dah-duh.  Dah-duh.  Da-da-da-da-da-dad-duh-duh (think cello music)
Now to be fair, I have learned something in watching these shows this week.  For example, Atlantic Sharks can travel thousands of miles down the coastline to maximize their hunting season.  Also, Great Whites have recently been seen off the Santa Monica Pier.  Wait....what the hell did they just say?  Santa Monica?  As in California Santa Monica?  Uh-uh.  Ain't no shark better be all up in my bizniz down in Santa Monica!!  The Pier is where you go to get crappy food, less than safe carnival rides and dirty beach sand.  You DO NOT go to Santa Monica Pier to get your face eaten!!  So.Cal residents be aware.  Hide the good China, the Sharks are moving in!

Welcome to Santa Monica.  Ready to be fish chum?

Obviously the Discovery Channel is doing something right.  According to a press release posted to TV by the Numbers, more than 11 Million Viewers Tuned in to the 24th Annual SHARK WEEK Premiere. Shark Week also took a bite out of social media, generating over 300,000 related tweets on Sunday.

Still, I think the Discovery Channel needs to step it up a notch when it comes to the quality of the program they choose to broadcast.  I mean, the SyFy channel has it right.  They know how to get top-notch actors and best-in-class special effects and make an amazing movie!  Don't believe me?  Check it out!

See!!!  See!!!!  Now that's entertainment!  It's got marketing potential written all over it!  But it doesn't have to end there!  No way.  These guys don't need to kill each other off.  I mean, there's so many things we could do here.  Sequels people!  Sequels.  What if we made it a love story?   Two headstrong creatures of the deep.  Fate made them mortal enemies.  Love made them eternal!

And then to complete the trilogy.....9 months later, we have.....SHARKTOPUS!

All right, all right.  Maybe I should just leave the programming decisions to the Company Execs.

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